So I thought I'd pull together my experience over the many years of organising them for my own friends and family, and helping thousands of hens organise parties with my company. Here's my tips for a stress free process:
1. Ask for suggestions from the bride, not the invitees
It's tempting to go out to everyone invited and ask them what they'd like to do, and what they'd like to spend, but remember one thing... this is the bride's party. So ask her what she wants to do and prioritise that over all other suggestions. Why take her clay pigeon shooting if she hates the outdoors? Remember the telephone scene in Bridesmaids? Yeah, that'll be you.2. Give varying budget options
One of your goals should be ensuring everyone the bride loves can attend her hen party. So organising an action packed weekend at £300 per head may sounds awesome but it'll alienate those with a lower budget and in the end, they may not come... leaving the bride feeling sad. By all means organise a full weekend at top budget, but allow for guests to pick and choose what they take part in so they can spend whatever they're comfortable with. It also helps new mums, busy working professionals etc to attend part of it as opposed to none (because they don't want to leave the kids for a night, or can't get that much time off work). I'd recommend writing an itinerary of what you've got planned, along with a time of arrival, price and when you need to be paid in order to book it, to email to everyone, for example:1pm - Arrive at brides house for champagne and cakes - £5 per head to help toward food and drink, please let me know by 20th February by sending the £5 to my paypal.
4pm - Dance class at X Venue - £20 per head, please let me know by 5th February by sending £20 to my paypal.
7pm - Dinner out at X restaurant - pay when you get there, please let me know by 10th February if you're coming so I can confirm seats with the restaurant
Overnight - we're staying over night at X spa, with a massage in the morning - the complete package is £149, please confirm you'd like to do this by sending £149 to my paypal by 15th February.
Make it clear the bride would love them at any part of the event, so they don't feel pressurised and are more likely to attend! I have to admit this was one of the key reasons I started offering pick and mix party packages, I knew that our customers like to be able to vary what each person does, for example, one guest may have a pin up photo shoot at £99, but the next may simply have a taster hair style at £18. This way, every is there, together celebrating with the bride, but spending what suits their budget.
3. Make it easy for everyone, so there's no confusion.
I've had many a customer on the phone the day before their hen telling me they didn't know they had to pay, could they please still book in. Of course we answer! But it's not always that simple. It'll make your life easier in planning how many goody bags etc, however, if you know how many are coming and to what. As suggested above, set up a paypal and ask everyone to pay by a certain date, then you can pay the suppliers/venues etc quickly and easily and everyone knows what they're doing.4. Don't over-organise
We all want to make it the best possible hen party for our beloved bride but rushing from one activity to the next can be stressful. Space activities generously over the day, allowing for overlaps and delays, then if you find yourself with spare time, pop to a bar or take some time to pose for pictures somewhere nearby... much better than getting into a sweat running to the next venue.5. Let the bride decide if it's a surprise.
Some people LOVE letting others take over and organise everything, living in blissful ignorance till the big reveal. If you're like me, you'd prefer the opposite (I organised my own hen party because I insisted!). Let the bride decide what makes her most relaxed, perhaps she wants to know the general gist but not the details, or nothing at all. Remember you don't want to add any anxiety to her wedding planning, and if her wondering if Aunty Jean can afford it is stressing her out, give her the details she needs to feel calm.6. To dress up or not?
This is totally personal, but as with tip 2, insisting on an expensive fancy dress code may mean some people simply don't come. Allow some flexibility, or suggest some cheap ways of achieving the look. We know our hens love to dress up vintage, so we suggest for those who don't fancy a full on '50s dress to wear capris/jeans, any top and a headscarf, you'll still be in theme, but yourself. People enjoy themselves the most when they feel comfortable and confident, and we want everyone in their best possible mood for the bride.7. Reflect the bride's personality.
If your bride is super laid back, be like a paddling swan... working away in the background to create a perfect event, whilst gliding along with no effort on the surface. Having a clip board and whistle may make a bride like this uncomfortable and elicit some eye-rolling from her friends who are inevitably just like her. On the flip side if she's a very organised, on-time kind of girl, make sure you've organised to her standards; aimlessly wondering on her big occassion will leave her feeling like she would have rather done it herself.8. Build in a thoughtful surprise.
Regardless of how much of the entire party / weekend is a surprise, you must must put in special touches to surprise the bride... this is the time you and her hens can tell her how much she means to you and how happy you are for her. My favourite is the fiance Q and A. I send a set of questions to the fiance about himself, their relationship, secrets, past etc, and then at the party I ask the bride to answer them, with a drink or dare forfeit for all the ones she gets wrong. Usually it's hilarious, and there's always something sweet in their that everyone can coo at about her new husband/wife to be.9. To gift of not to gift?
I've been to hens where I've bought a gift and no one else has, and vice versa. It's a tough one, and the etiquette on this will depend on:The budget of the group - again insisting everyone bring a gift may mean people feel more financial pressure.
How well you know the group - are they gift-givers?
My suggestions would be to add a note in the original invite that people are welcome to bring a gift that makes them think of the bride, up to the value of £5/10/15 (judge based on what you know about the group). That pleases the gift-givers, and means those who didn't think of bringing a gift won't be embarrased they didn't. Alternatively, tell everyone the bride doesn't want gifts, that their attendance is all she wants!
10. Generation game.
Its a tough one to decide whether you should be all inclusive from Grandma to little cousin, or whether to keep it to just the 'party mates'. The best way to decide is to ask the bride, let her guide you as to what will work best. The benefit of organising the weekend as per tip 2 also means children can attend some parts, but not others (perhaps you make it clear dinner onward is for over 18s only, if the bride agrees).11. Dealing with a difficult guest.
You know the type... perhaps she's a little green eyed, maybe she doesn't like sharing her bestie, or she simply prefers the limelight on her. If you have a guest with the grumps, the best way to deal with this is to kill it with kindness. Lavish some attention on her, for example ask her to be the one to read the fiance Q & A, or hand the joint gift to the bride. The bride will know who is really behind all the effort, and these efforts in keeping your troublesome guest on her best behaviour far outweigh the potential she'll ruin some or part of the brides weekend.12. Include everyone!
Hen parties are usually the first time the bride's different friendship groups and family meet. Perhaps there's the sensible ones from work and the wild ones from uni... how they will get on will most certainly be on the bride's mind. It makes me sad if I ever see a quiet friend outside of the fun. So make sure you greet everyone personally, ask them some questions, introduce the quiet ones to the group and play the role of perfect host to help the group gel, the bride will thank you endlessly for this; making her friends happy will make her happy.I hope you enjoyed my tips, I pride myself in being part of making the bride's planning easier, and it's an honour when customers choose our services, please do check out what we offer, and if we can help in any way, please get in touch:
For parties, pin up photo shoots and celebrations: www.lekeuxparties.co.uk
For hair, make up, bridal styling and venue: www.lekeuxvintagesalon.co.uk
Here's some pics from our hen parties...
Thank you!
Lynsey Le Keux x
